I've read a lot of books about grief. I've sat in therapy. I've collected more resources than I could ever count. And if knowledge alone could carry you through loss... I would be an expert by now.

But, here's what I've learned: 

 

When grief actually hits - when the emotion is so big and so heavy that your brain just stops working - all of that information disappears. Fight-or-flight kicks in, and suddenly you have no idea what to do next.

That's where I've found an unexpected tool to be especially helpful... AI. Specifically, ChatGPT.

I know, I know - but try to stay with me. I'm not saying it replaces therapy or community or real human connection. What I am saying is that when my brain is completely overwhelmed, it has helped me find my way back to peace. And I think you might feel the same way.

Here are four honest ways I've used it while navigating grief.

Journaling has been one of my biggest tools through grief. I've done it since I was a kid and it's never failed me. But there are moments when my feelings are so tangled and confusing that I genuinely don't know where to start, and staring at a blank page just makes it worse.

So I started giving ChatGPT one or two sentences (whatever my brain could actually hold onto in that moment) and asking it for a grief journaling prompt. Something as simple as "I'm overwhelmed and I don't know why. Give me a prompt to help me process this."

Within 15 minutes, my whole mood would shift. I'm learning that the right question is often all we need to unlock what's actually going on inside.

This one surprised me the most... and it's brought me some of the most unexpected moments of healing.

There are recipes from my grandma that I thought were gone forever. Dishes that bring up special memories and remind me of her. I started describing them to ChatGPT (what I remembered about the ingredients, the texture, even the way she made them) and it helped me piece them back together.

If you've lost someone, you know that grief lives in the smallest things. A smell or even a flavor. Getting some of those back, is a gift I didn't expect I could ever get back.

Sometimes the coping tools we've been taught just aren't accessible. You can know every breathing technique, every grounding exercise, every strategy your therapist gave you and in a moment of real grief or frusteration, none of it shows up.

In those moments, I've found it helpful to just talk it out. I tell ChatGPT exactly what I'm feeling and what's making it hard to cope. I'll even tell it my limitations like, "I'm in a coffee shop, I have 20 minutes, I can't spend money." That context matters because generic advice just adds more frusteration.

When I tell it where I'm starting from, it helps me take the next small step and that's all I usually need.

I'm sure we've all been there... someone says something that lands wrong, or someone needs something from you that you just cannot give right now. Your brain is too full and every word feels like a million pounds.

I've started copying those messages into ChatGPT and explaining what came up for me when I read them. Sometimes I realize I misread the tone completely, and it wasn't what I thought. Other times it helps me write a response that actually reflects what I need - not what I think I'm supposed to say.

As someone who has spent a lot of energy being the person who holds it together for everyone else, having a space to work through a message before sending it has been really freeing.

I'm not saying AI should replace the people in your life, your therapist, or the grief work that takes real time and real presence. What I am saying is that coping with grief is hard, and we don't have to be precious about the tools we use to get through it.

You're going to have moments where your capacity is completely maxed out. If having a tool available in those moments helps you take care of yourself, and show up a little better for the people around you, that's worth something.

Try it. And if you do, I'd love to hear what happens.